Ron Olson was preparing his 40,000 square foot lawn for an annual fundraiser he runs to benefit the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. Wanting to ensure that everything would be perfect, Mr. Olson purchased and applied Ferti-lome weed killer to remove unsightly weeds. Unfortunately, Mr. Olson failed to read page 2 of the attached 8 page instruction…
If you’re like us, or most literate Americans who grew up in the last 50 years, you probably fondly remember the greatest creation of Donald Sobol, a computer in tennis shoes, Leroy “Encyclopedia” Brown. We were saddened to learn today of the death of Mr. Sobol last week in Miami. Mr. Sobol, who was 87,…
The Joker, some may recall, used to ask his victims “Have you ever danced with the Devil in the pale moonlight?” John Ernest Cross, a 30 year old Iowan, apparently prefers moonwalking to moonlight. Cross was arrested after reportedly pointing a semiautomatic rifle at another man and ordering him perform the moonwalk. At an initial…
Stephen Colbert was too late to get on the ballot in South Carolina, so he asked his supporters to vote for Herman Cain to show support for him. Was the potential candidate able to move the needle? With 99% of precincts reporting, Cain has 6274 votes to 2430 for Rick Perry, 1130 for Jon Huntsman,…
We didn’t go to fancy journalism school, so you’ll have to excuse our naivete in assuming that a news article ought to include news. So we were pretty puzzled when we came across an article in The Vancouver Sun entitled “Museum curator may have answer to Vancouver Island totem-pole mystery” Could be interesting we thought.…
Khadijah Baseer really, really wanted some Chicken McNuggets, but lacked the cash with which to purchase them. So she did what any other crazy or altered person with a craving for processed chicken-like meat would do- started walking down the drive thru line at 11PM, opening doors and offering sex for Chicken McNuggets. Shockingly, rather…
Natasha Mitchell of Kitchener, Ontario hired a local franchise of Two Small Men With Big Hearts to move all of her family’s belongings in 2009. She’s still waiting for them to arrive. The company showed up on the appointed day, but refused to release Mitchell’s possessions unless she paid $890 on the spot- far more…
It feels like it ought to be a euphemism, but Johnny D Guillen has been arrested in Peru after fleeing Virginia, where he is believed to have slashed the buttocks of 13 young women. Fairfax County Police in Virginia posted on its website that the man — whom it identifies as Johnny D. Guillen Pimentel…
Aidan Dwyer’s eureka moment came on a wintry Catskill hike- why not shape solar arrays like tree branches rather than flat panels? His early results looked promising. Indeed, they won him a prestigious award for young scientists. Then the press began, and with it, the news that his methodology had been flawed. Dwyer, undaunted, began…
We like our science fiction old school. Give us E.E. “Doc” Smith or A.E. Van Vogt any day, over whatever the modern hack de jour is churning out. The crowning achievement of the genre, in our opinion, is Asimov’s Foundation trilogy. If you haven’t read it, well, what are you waiting for? Either way, go…