Oh Americans… It’s bad enough that you lead the world in not exercising (see yesterday’s GUTS post here), but this just takes everything to the next level. Retailer 7-11 has started placing new vending machines in its stores. For a small price, customers can enjoy a piping-hot bucket of… mashed potatoes. With gravy. And a…
Ron Olson was preparing his 40,000 square foot lawn for an annual fundraiser he runs to benefit the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. Wanting to ensure that everything would be perfect, Mr. Olson purchased and applied Ferti-lome weed killer to remove unsightly weeds. Unfortunately, Mr. Olson failed to read page 2 of the attached 8 page instruction…
The Joker, some may recall, used to ask his victims “Have you ever danced with the Devil in the pale moonlight?” John Ernest Cross, a 30 year old Iowan, apparently prefers moonwalking to moonlight. Cross was arrested after reportedly pointing a semiautomatic rifle at another man and ordering him perform the moonwalk. At an initial…
We didn’t go to fancy journalism school, so you’ll have to excuse our naivete in assuming that a news article ought to include news. So we were pretty puzzled when we came across an article in The Vancouver Sun entitled “Museum curator may have answer to Vancouver Island totem-pole mystery” Could be interesting we thought.…
Khadijah Baseer really, really wanted some Chicken McNuggets, but lacked the cash with which to purchase them. So she did what any other crazy or altered person with a craving for processed chicken-like meat would do- started walking down the drive thru line at 11PM, opening doors and offering sex for Chicken McNuggets. Shockingly, rather…
Natasha Mitchell of Kitchener, Ontario hired a local franchise of Two Small Men With Big Hearts to move all of her family’s belongings in 2009. She’s still waiting for them to arrive. The company showed up on the appointed day, but refused to release Mitchell’s possessions unless she paid $890 on the spot- far more…
It feels like it ought to be a euphemism, but Johnny D Guillen has been arrested in Peru after fleeing Virginia, where he is believed to have slashed the buttocks of 13 young women. Fairfax County Police in Virginia posted on its website that the man — whom it identifies as Johnny D. Guillen Pimentel…
Jakadrien Turner was born in the United States. She is a United States Citizen. She speaks is African-American and speaks no Spanish. Yet when she was arrested last year in Houston for shoplifiting, six month after the 14 year old ran away from her home in Dallas, police decided she was a 22 year old…
In what might be a case of improvisational performance art gone very, very wrong, 36 year old Carmen Tisch of Colorado scratched, punched, dropped her pants and rubbed her bare buttocks on a $30 million Clyfford Still painting at the Clyfford Still museum in Denver. Tisch’s outburst caused $10,000 in damage to the painting, titled…
One young man is struggling to rebound after his awkward marriage proposal on the UCLA “mistletoe cam” was followed by a long pause and a fleeing bride-to-not-be. The man’s words: “I knew that I was going to do this since the first day that I met you, and I figured now was as good a…