I Need Fear Factor And The Only Perscription Is More Cow Blood!

By | December 18, 2011
Fear Factor

Fear Factor went off the air in 2006 due to poor ratings, and for some reason or other, a cadre of fans pined for its return.  The show, emblematic of much of what is lacking in modern culture, will soon make its return to NBC.  The network is desperate for a hit, and Matt Kunitz, Fear Factor’s executive producer, believes he knows how to deliver.  Kunitz’ philosophy can be summed up in two words: “More Cowbell!” Kunitz has decided the key to success is more.

Dunking a head in 50 gallons of cow blood? “That’s nothing,” said Matt Kunitz, an executive producer who, for the record, has never tried it. This time there would be 3,000 gallons.

….

“In the past we would have covered someone with 100,000 bees,” Mr. Kunitz said. “Now we’ll cover one of them in 200,000 bees. Their partner, in order to get the bees off of them, has to eat 20 live bees, then retrieve an ax to cut his partner down.”

NBC hopes that more cow blood, more bees, and more of everything, will lead to more viewers, more episodes, and more profit.  If not, what are they going to do with all that cow blood?