Unemployed Equity Analyst Maintains Buy Rating On Dead Marriage

By | November 25, 2011

Failing to accept that his marriage his over, unemployed equity analyst Todd Remis has sued H & H photography, alleging that the firm failed to capture the last 15 minutes of his ill-fate nuptials, and demanding that they gather everyone back together and recreate the event in order to capture the moment for posterity.  Mr. Remis waited 6 years to file the suit, by which time his marriage was over.  He is not even sure where his ex-wife is, although she is said to have moved back to Latvia.

Mr. Remis has taken standard Wall Street practice to a new level. Whereas many analysts keep their Buy ratings on until the company actually files for bankruptcy, generally they withdraw their rating at that point. By reiterating his Buy post-marriage, Mr. Remis pushes the profession forward to new levels.